What english movies u should not translate in tagalog

1. Black Hawk Down - Ibong Maitim sa Ibaba
2. Dead Man's Chest - Dodo ng Taong Patay

3. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uyy... Aminin!

4. Love, Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-ibig

5. Million Dollar Baby - 50 Milyong Pisong Sanggol (depende sa exchange

rate)

6. The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang si Blair

7. Mary Poppins - Si Mariang May Putok

8. Snakes on a Plane - Nag-ahasan sa Ere

9. The Postman Always Rings Twice - Ang Kartero Kapag Dumutdot Laging

Dalawang Beses

10. Sum of All Fears - Takot Mo, Takot Ko, Takot Nating Lahat

11. Swordfish - Talakitok

12. Pretty Woman - Ganda ng Lola Mo

13. Robin Hood, Men in Tights - Si Robin Hood at Ang Mga Felix Bakat

14. Four Weddings and a Funeral - Kahit Apat na Beses ka Pang Magpakasal,

Mamamatay Ka Rin

15. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Ako, Ikaw, Kayong Lahat

16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - Adik si Harry, Tumira ng Shabu

17. Click - Isang Pindot Ka Lang

18. Brokeback Mountain - May Nawasak sa Likod ng Bundok ng Tralala

/Bumigay sa Bundok

19. The Day of the Dead - Undas

20. Waterworld – Pista ng San Juan

21. There's Something About Mary - May K'wan sa Ano ni Maria

22. Employee of the Month - Ang Sipsip

23. Resident Evil - Ang Biyenan

24. Kill Bill - Kilitiin sa Bilbil

25. The Grudge - Lintik lang ang Walang Ganti

26. Nightmare Before Christmas - Binangungot sa Noche Buena

27. Never Been Kissed - Pangit Kasi

28. Gone in 60 Seconds - 1 Round Lang, Tulog

29. The Fast and the Furious - Ang Bitin, Galit

30. Too Fast, Too Furious - Kapag Sobrang Bitin, Sobrang Galit

31. Dude, Where's My Car - Dong, Anong Level Ulit Tayo Nag-park?

32. Beauty and the Beast - Ang Asawa ko at ang Nanay Nya

33. The Lord of the Rings - Ang Alahero

34. Die Hard - Hindi Mamatay-matay

35. Die Hard, With A Vengeance - Hindi Na Mamatay-matay, Nag-higanti Pa

35. Lost In Space - Mga Tangang Naligaw sa Kalawakan

36. Paycheck - Sweldo

37. What Lies Beneath - Ang Pagsisinungaling sa Ilalim

38. Superman, The Return - Si Superman Bumalik, Naiwanan Ang Brief

39. Cinderella Man - Bading si Cinderella

40. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Nag-trabaho si Charlie sa Goya

41. Blade Runner - Magnanakaw ng Labaha

42. Schindler's List - Mga May Utang kay Schindler

43. Men In Black - Mga Lalaking Namatayan

44. X-Men, The Last Stand - Mga Dating Lalaki, Huling Tinayuan

45. Wedding Crashers - Mga Bwiset sa Kasal

46. The Day After Tomorrow - Sa Makalawa

47. Three Men and a Baby - Ang Tatlong Yayo

48. Catch Me If You Can - Habulin Mo 'Ko

49. A Bug's Life - Ang Buhay ng Isang Surot

50. Die Another Day - Mamatay Ka Uli Bukas

51. The Rock - Ang Shabu

52. Jaws - Panga

53. Back to the Future - Sa Likod ng Hinaharap

54. In the Line of Fire - Tumulay ka sa Alambreng may Apoy

55. Saturday Night Fever - Sabado ng Gabi, may Trangkaso

56. Stepmom - Tapakan si Inang

57. Brother Bear - Kuya Oso

58. Police Academy - Paaralan ng Mga Buwaya

59. The English Patient - Ang Pasyenteng Inglesera

60. Man on Fire - Nasusunog na Mama

61. The Horse Whisperer - Ang Tsismoso ng mga Kabayo

62. Dante's Peak - Ang Bumbunan ni Dante

63. Legends of the Fall - Ang Kasaysayan ng mga Lampa

64. The Forgotten - Ewan

Unzipped In the wrong way

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a very tight skirt was waiting for the bus. As the bus rolled up, she queued with the rest of the passengers at the bus stop. When it was her turn, she realized that her skirt was way too tight for her to take the first step of the bus comfortably—so slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. But she couldn’t, the skirt was still too tight. So, a little more embarrassed, she again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. Still she couldn’t step up to the platform.




So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped her offending skirt to give more slack. About this time, the big guy behind her grabbed her by the waist and raised her all the way to the aisle of the bus. The lady, taken by surprise, screamed at the bloke. “How dare you touch me! I don’t even know who you are, you pervert!” she shouted. The big guy answered: “Ma’am, I can’t really say if I know you either. But after you unzipped my fly three times, I thought we had something going!”

A Pinoy, German and Pakistani

A Pinoy, German and Pakistani get arrested in Saudi for drinking and were sentenced to get 20 lashes. Before getting whipped, the law enforcement’s top brass announces: “It’s my wife’s birthday and she asked me to allow you a wish.” The German said: “Please tie a pillow to my back.” His wish is granted but the pillow only lasts 10 lashes. He’s carried away bleeding. The Pakistani’s next. He requests two pillows on his back. It lasted only 15 lashes, the guy’s sent away whimpering. The Pinoy’s up. Before he could say anything, the coppers said to him: “You are from a beautiful country. For this, you get two wishes!” The Pinoy says, “In recognition to your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.” “Not only are you an honorable man, you’re also very brave,” the top law men replied. “If that’s what you desire, so be it. What’s your second wish?” the Pinoy smiles and says, “Tie the Pakistani to my back.”

Paid For 800 bucks

man and his wife are in the shower together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.




In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.



Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.



"Who was that?" the husband asks.



"Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers.



"Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!"

Praying for 10 pesos

Sa loob ng simbahan ng Quiapo, isang batang pulubi ang mataimtim na nanalangin sa Diyos.



Pulubi: "Panginoon kung maaari po sana ay bigyan ninyo ako ng sampung piso dahil gutom na gutom na lang po ako."



Narinig sya ng isang pulis na kasalukuyan ding nagsisimba at bumilib sya sa katatagan ng bata sa pananampalataya sa Diyos. Sa kanyang habag ay dumukot sya ng limang piso at iniabot sa bata na ang sabi: "Amang, narinig ng Diyos ang panalangin mo at heto tanggapin mo ang perang ito at ibili mo ng pagkain".



Tumingala ang bata sa pulis, kinuha nya ang limang pisong iniabot at muling yumuko para manalangin: "Panginoon, salamat po sa pagdinig ninyo sa aking panalangin, pero sana naman po sa uli-uli wag na ninyong pararaanin pa sa pulis, kasi malaki na ang bawas".

The Taxi driver and the Nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY

handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and

have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just

about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I

would find offensive."



"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be

single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says,

"Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are! you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm

Jewish."



The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween

party."